Social Validation:

Doing things because people around you have done something generally agreed upon as the thing to do.

Most people find the need for social validation. That's fine. If everyone is doing it. You should be doing it too right? Because it's safe. Well stop waiting for it to be safe, and let it become scary. Really scary. Because it's only then you will discover who you really are.

I call this not-safe mentality being part of the Herd. It's not wrong really, it's safe. It's boring. 

It's what people without the will to do something different or even the drive to do something different end up doing. 

Case example: Marriage.

I come from India. This is a land that is plagued with social validation. That's not because most people are not risk takers, it's that most people need to be told it's ok. The muslim invasion fucked us. The british fucked us some more. While those bastards might be laughing now, it has left a deep resolve in India to be really safe and sure of what next step you take. This is thankfully not the case in the future. A lot of bright indians are changing the world we see around us. Taking bigger risks now and starting companies. But it doesn't change a lot of the enviroment and way of working in India. 

But I digress.

Marriage is a social validation ceremony, that the guy is now fit to be responsible. That this lad of 25+ is now ready to take care and bring on the worries of a woman. To now seed a generation to follow up.

All for what? Where is the glory in this? Because his dad did it, he does it too (no puns intended). He doesn't have higher dreams beyond the proven method of life.

In India the proven life - 

1. Become a 

a) Doctor

b) an Engineer.

2. Marry at the age of 20

3. Get Kids soon.

4. Care for them, try to save up some.

5. Die.

What sort of life is this? How many have paused to ask really what is this for. I'm not going anti marriage here. I'm saying marrying for security or purpose is possibly the two stupidest reasons you can marry for.

Is there any good that comes out of this?

Yes. Generations have married and have lessons to teach us. This is what works, this is what doesn't in marriage. I beg to differ again. The people and their values have changed. Women wear short skirts now, brandish womens liberation is my birth right, get confused into the G.I.Jane approach to things in life (esp men) and then end up being the anti-mom. The girl of this generation is NOTHING compared to her mom. That's good in a way, she's more educated, open, liberal and all that. She is also confused. She is suddenly

open to this world where anything goes. But she's not sure where to go.

Men have it better, they have been traditionally grounded in the way their life should lead. Which sorta follows after the proven life principle.

I'm sure you are happy and married. Tell me why.

More important.

It's time to be scared. It's time to know thyself.

It's time to say no to social validation. 

(Note:- I'm not staying say single, I'm just saying find a better reason to get married beyond the herds.)